The Beaverlick Gazette

            On a warm, humid night in April, I was called to the hotel suite of one of Rock music’s most misunderstood musician/ composers, the man who redefined the possibilities of the electric guitar, yet created one of the most controversial and offensive catalog of songs in the history of the genre and a man who also just happens to be one of our town’s favorite sons. Rip Deathcramp, the Beaverlick native and son of Harvey and Marge Deathcramp, has not spoken to the press in almost twenty years after questions of Satanism, terrible substance abuse,  wild sexual exploits, and the infamous incident when he signed a contract with Tone-deaf Records and attempted to eat Record Executive Marv Hammerstein’s desk. Apparently, Rip has decided that enough time has passed and “maybe, after all this time, the press has more interesting questions for me, like…if you played “The Minute Waltz” on guitar twice as fast, would you have to call it “The...

         WBVL Celebrates Another Year Entertaining Beaverlick by Manny Polewhacker Fud Nucklebick had a vision, and that vision was sound. In 1932, Nucklebick built and brought onto the airwaves WBVL, also known in town as “Radio Beaverlick”, which is just past the end of your AM dial. You just have to turn the knob a little harder than usual. Maybe give a good smack to the side of the radio. Nucklebick was driven to entertain and inform just the right amount of people, and he decided early in the century that the town of Beaverlick had just the right amount of people: slightly bigger than a crowd, but smaller than a riot. At first, Nucklebick bought a megaphone and screamed out the window of his home; performing skits, singing the hit songs of the day, doing some commercials, and, of course, the news: every hour on the hour. After he recovered from his injuries incurred when his neighbors beat him senseless, he tried a new tack: A one man show performed at wha...